I was talking to someone at an event yesterday who told me that they were unhappy with the way that they were reacting to people and situations in their everyday life. In particular, unhappy with the levels of stress, irritation and anger they were experiencing. I reassured them that this was something that I heard time and again from my clients, so they were not alone in feeling this way.

We do lead very busy lives and are trying to juggle many different things: jobs, children, elderly relations, partners/spouses, looking after the home and much more. This results in feeling as though our life is running us rather than us being in control. And it is feeling a lack of control that makes us feel stressed.

It is in that moment when we instinctively react to a situation, rather than responding in a measured way, that we feel anger, jealousy, desperation, fear, panic. And in the course of a day, the more times that we experience this, the more those negative feelings accumulate so that they become our first reaction when something happens.

Only 10% of what happens to us is entirely out of our control, the other 90% will be as a result of something we did or didn’t do. And very often the thing that we do is react without thinking.

Family FightingWhen we react badly to a situation or to someone, we then feel guilt afterwards which further compounds those negative feelings about ourselves.

I believe that it is just as important to show compassion to ourselves as to other people. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day when we see huge commercial outpourings of ‘Love’. How about showing yourself some love today as well as tomorrow and on into the future.

When faced with a stressful situation there are a couple of things that you can do in that moment. My number one ‘Tranquility Tip’ is always BREATHE.

 Just take 3 deep breaths before you speak or move. You will be amazed how just taking those short moments will give you time to actually think about what you are going to do or say next.

Counting to 10 is another tried and tested way of bringing your focus back to what is going on rather than reacting emotionally straight away.

Of course, you may not find this easy at first but the more you practise the easier it becomes.

If you would like to find out more about how I can support you with this, take a look at the rest of the website as I run a variety of events, courses and workshops or work directly with individual clients.